Lustrous resonance

tanishq

Little cobwebs spin into a bell tower, a lustrous pearl makes up the clapper, I marvel at the intricate work of art, now adorning my ear. I am transformed, powerful in my revolution, for I refuse to let it all happen to me.

Not anymore.

The ringing in my ears does not stop. Sound. Echoes of sound. Words that are an assault on my spirit. You dare question my loyalty? Your taunts probe my integrity.

My integrity?

And molten shame burns my ears, overflowing and scorching all that it can access, even the innermost recesses of my mind.

Not anymore.

I die a little on the inside and the gleam of the pearl I create from my shell shines a little brighter.

Brighter still are the frozen tears I do not shed.

Choking on the thing that clutches at my neck, a silken scarf now covers my wounds and the scars heal.

Closed and clammed up, the vile impurity you heap on me, I ingest, producing treasures with unyielding regularity.

For you show such alarming constancy.

No longer do I recall what I used to be. Morphed beyond the original, I stand proud and tall, cloaked in layers of insulation.

Shed and unshed tears collect under my eyes and brimming, the ocean rages inside, deep and ominous. Storms, gales and thunder are the moods of my dark mind. Flashes of lightning illuminate me once in a while.

My light blinds you and I see you wonder.

Careworn, tired and ready to give up, detach myself from my bay, I could float away, a mere speck on your horizon, an annoyance, an irritant, in your perfect world, but no.

Not now. Not anytime soon. So prepare to hold your fire. Anticipate.

Meanwhile, while we wait, let us play a game. One in which I’m always the winner. Throw at me whatever you will, I take it in my stride and spoil your perfect plans with efficiency.

Love my tears? No more waterworks for you. Never shall you have that satisfaction again. No, not a single teardrop, too precious to waste on you. I shall take the world of pain you offer and top it with my nonchalance. I choose to be dispassionate and indifferent to you, the pain, and the world.

Free from all apparent care, I rule, being the undisputed queen of all I survey.

Just keep trying.

Keep spinning those little cobwebs of deceit.

Well, keep trying.

I laugh a little louder, play the game a little longer, embellish my image a little further and then maybe I’ll concede victory…

To you? Never.

To nobody, ever.

So, dream on.

 

Carefree

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9 thoughts on “Lustrous resonance

  1. Taking your peace back. It’s vital. It takes a while, but once you do it, it feels as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. No longer, do you allow folks control over your emotions. No longer will they dominate your mind. Taking your joy back. Your hope. Your smile. It’s so worth it. Great post Sailaja.

  2. Absolute brilliance….amazingly fantastic….so poetic and powerful…redemption, resilience, triumph….from pain to purpose….this is so amazing…thank you for sharing your gift with us 🙂

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