Lurking, becoming the background.
Feasting on scraps discarded.
Scavenging on the fringes of the fortunate.
Hanging on every word, greedily drinking in everything.
Scouring for those elusive opportunities that once came knocking,
evading me, they now elude me and memories return,
only to mock me.
Jostling through the crowd, ‘Carpe Diem’ I hear.
Seize the day- what day?
Desperately oozing doomed charm, I try.
Nesting maggots stand a better chance at being noticed.
Clinging on to the significant and the inconsequential,
the effects of sequence and consequence are all that matter.
The shadows of the past, the ghosts of chance, all haunt me.
Racked with agony, I open my mouth to scream.
Lashing out at everything and everybody,
I blaze my way through a hell of my own making.
Snatching, clutching at what I still can, while I still can.
Ripping the air with my impotent scream.
Do they see? I wonder.
The untruth I nurture.
The deceit I perfect.